Mary, Mary Quite Contrary

How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockleshells
And pretty maids all in a row.

I 've always wondered what this nursery rhyme means other than inspiring my fantasy of gardening with dirty pretty maids all in a row....in Carpinteria that should be easy what with all the farmers, flower growers and their nasty daughters....

but sometimes, you need to read between the rhymes....

There are several interpretations of what people think the meaning of the poem was. Some say that the silver bells stood for Catholic Cathedral bells, the cockle shells stood for the pilgrimage to Spain and the pretty maids in a row stood for a row of nuns.

Others claim the meaning was about torturing her victims. Silver bells stood for thumb screws that were torture devices, cockle shells that was a genital torture device and the pretty maids in a row stood for the people lining up to be executed by the guillotine.

The most popular theory about Mary, Mary quite contrary is the one that describes the "how does your garden grow" as the growing size of the graveyards. The graveyards were growing so rapidly because there were Protestants who were executed because they were unwilling to give up their faith and practice as Catholic.

Queen "Bloody" Mary was popular enough to frequent a number of nursery rhymes, which is pretty impressive all these centuries later. How many nursery rhymes do you appear in? You need to start doing something with your life....other than wasting taxpayer money in a continual court/lawsuit loop...criminal and civil!! and the next hearing is in July for our Mary.... in the tower..in the tower...the Red Queen will be watching

but the question remains: why is Mary so contrary?? I was perplexed so I mixed another Bloody Mary and pondered....

maybe Mary is suffering from Agoraphobia, an anxiety disorder characterized by anxiety in situations where the sufferer perceives certain environments as dangerous or uncomfortable...like hiking on the Bluffs with all those snakes???

although they've been divorced for many years, Mary always call the cops on her ex, hence the Silver Bells inference...they were thumbscrews, which caused the thumb to be smashed between two flat surfaces by a screw being tightened up...

was Mary a promiscuous cheat??? I think she has a thing for detectives, ie, she likes dicks...maybe Mary collects cockleshells like badges!

Mary lies alot but then so do I....we all lie just don't wake up with fleas like Mary

Mary has money issues and will beg borrow or steal a dollar and spend it just as quick...or gamble it all at the casinos!!

Mary hangs around her ex's family like a stray caterpillar looking for a leaf...but remember Mary, caterpillars sometimes get sqooooshed...

　
is Mary's goose cooked???

if it's on the front page of the News-Press, then I would say it's at least half-baked!