I'm confused...not that that's anything new, but certain things I expect to happen, then don't...for example when three Hearst family zebras were shot and killed in Cambria, I expected a zebra story from the News-Press..instead I get a dog story..the N-P took a break from her front page coverage of a 32 year old story about a little lady fugitive who finally got caught...two days of front pages on this! but nothing on the zebras..you know, zebras have feelings too..well, not anymore..
girls, I want you to take off zee bras now....
ok then after many years of typing on a keyboard I noticed that little warning tag which says "turn the keyboard over" so I do then I get blasted with some bad news..USE OF A KEYBOARD OR MOUSE MAY BE LINKED TO SERIOUS INJURIES OR DISORDERS...and it lists a ton of maladies..so that explains this blog to some of you who may have been wondering..I have a disorder of sorts...
so... I happened to love the story in the N-P about some little dogs creating havoc in the neighborhood..my kinda dogs! and Scott Steepleton, King of the Dog Story, wrote it! anyway, the City of Carp is suing the dog owner because they killed two rabbits in someone's yard and they run around the neighborhood alot..that's what dogs are supposed to do...you keep prey in your yard, it's gonna get eaten...
girls, you must take off zee bras please!
a healthy dog is a free dog..free to roam and kill a few rabbits if needed! that's what ranch dogs do...however, in the city, dogs are locked up, leashed and pampered to death by the owners..very unhealthy!! so I'd like to see Carpinteria declared leash free and let the chips fall where they may.. healthy dogs running around are less likely to poop every five minutes! and if they run onto the freeway, it's just road kill..that's why we have the turkey vultures...in other words, let Nature work like she's supposed to..
and then, I see my fellow catholics are trying to beautify Pope John Paul ....why? the dude is dead and beauty, being skin deep, can't be seen if you're just a skeleton.... and Martha Stewart was attacked by her French Bulldog, after arousing him from a deep sleep....ladies, you need to let sleeping dogs lie...sleep, it's the only place a fella can get any peace anymore! get it!!
and finally, I'm fiddling around Saturday morning when the doorbell rings...two guys dressed in black, one skinny and one fat..they got a bible..they're Jehovah's Witnesses...they say good morning...I say get lost..you guys need to leave the premises..this is private property! habba nice day... so they go but instead of leaving the premises, the go to my neighbors and try to convert them! so I go outside and start up again..you guys need to leave or I'll call the cops...the skinny guy says, "but we go to private properties all the time"...the fat guy's at my neighbor's door still yaking! what, do these guys work on commission??
so I stare at them and say: if you don't leave now, I got a 2nd Amendment Remedy (now known as SAR) that'll get you to Jesus in a hurry... you wanna test me?? you wanna trespass against me???
they hightailed it outta there faster than two zebras in a strawberry patch!!!