so I'm out on a Sunday Drive..up around Ojai and back down Highway 150...I see a cool yellow four wheel motorcycle thingie that went by so fast and loud I couldn't get a picture...vroooom! then, I stop and get out for a little hike...the wild flowers are starting to fill in the roadsides and mountain areas ..lots of Cape Ivy that nativists hate..so naturally I love it..it's harmless and will die off ..reports that it chokes trees is greatly exaggerated..it grows and climbs trees, but it doesn't strangle them like I would a nativist if I saw one right now...but I don't see one so I get back behind the wheel and head off to my local Route 66..the road is winding and cool..I pass some big eucs and come around a corner and there's a lady in a white Cadillac coming the other way..she's in my fucking lane!!!
she was I assume, trying to turn into a rural driveway, but was going way too slow..she sees me coming and fucking turns into me while I was trying to swerve to avoid her..I hit the brakes and hard turned again THE OTHER WAYand missed her, but saw her face as I passed her....she was an old biddy in a mink coat with a silly feathery hat and big thick sunglasses...I shouted at her and flipped her off and she looked like an old deer in the headlights!! I passed her and glanced in the rearview mirror and she was still trying to navigate out of the wrong lane..stupid ass bitch!!
Now, the reason I was so adept as missing her was I was listeneing to the radio and Led Zep was on...a rockin song...the kind that gets you pumped up and glad you're out driving on a beautiful Sunday...if that song wasn't playing, if Page wasn't cranking on that Les Paul guitar and Plant wasn't wailing away, I may have been a bit more mellow and crashed into that old bitch woman...rock and roll saved my life!! can you imagine what would have happened if I was listening to Sarah McCacklin'...I probably would have been sooo mellowed out I woulda crashed into that old lady!! Sarah is playing at the Casino so be careful on the Chumash Highway of Death!!
but the point is this: if you think you are gonna share the road with me, you gotta stay on your side of it! lady, you got me?? if you are turning into a driveway, then commit and do it..just do it!! I own the road, not you!!!
meanwhile, I'm buying the Led Zep catalog as we speak.....
1 comment:
she is obvious english
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