Saturday, May 26, 2012

talk to the animals

breaking news: William the Wonder Horse has DIED!! (but don't worry, you can still talk to him!)

a wake will be held at Summerland beach where William became famous for trying to swim away from his psycho captors..interment will be at the Santa Barbara Cemetery in Montecito..or is that the Montecito Cemetery in Santa Barbara... a statue of Will has already been erected at the Harbor..


well shit now I know who is behind all these crazy lady pet psychics..WENDY!! these people have personified animals! they talk to dead animals..they consult psychics to see what live animals are thinking..and that's what William's owners did! Mindy Peters and her daughter talked to a psychic in Florida about what William the Wonder Horse was thinking and how he liked living in California...Will is cool with it, says the psychic!!

well I've spoken with dogs and cats before..mostly cats because they are smarter than dogs..and cats are funny too..and silly..but me talking to them is just me talking..they don't know WTF to make of it as long as I feed them and play with them....

but there's no psychic telepathic thing going on between animals and people..any supernatural relationship you may perceive with an animal is all in your mind....and consulting a psychic to see what your horse is thinking is just plain...well.....McCuckoo!

so when I read about the pet psychics over at the Independent and one church pastor lady offering a seminar on how to talk to animals for$59, well, I just figure people have lost their minds...

How to Talk to Animals Workshop

Develop telepathic communication skills in this introductory course with animal communicator Suzan Vaughn. Must preregister.
When: Saturday, May 19, 2012, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Where: Spiritualist Church of the Comforter, 1028 Garden St, Santa Barbara
Cost: $59
Age limit: Not available
Categories: Classes
Description: Scholarships are available. Bring photo of your pet. Please preregister through the church by Sunday, May 13. Contact Rev. Judy Campbell-Clark (805) 965-4474.
Phone: 805-965-4474

but it's no big's how you talk to animals..

a dog: sit!

a cat: here kitty!

a worm: roll over

a horse: wanna go for a swim??

a bird: you're worth more in a bush

a fish: can you tuna piano??

where'd all these loopy people come from?? maybe they were animals in a past life....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I would have thought William would say, " I love Montevito except on the weekend when all these dunked sssholes with long wooden sticks climb on my back, and tear my mouth up with a bit as they chase this fucking ball around making my friends and me collide into each other and occasionally whacking my shins with those fucking sticking. I guess it's a game of some sort, but I thought that kind of barbaric treatment towns us horses went out with Ghengis Kahn!"