memo to Turner

Didn't I see you down in San Antone On a hot and dusty night? We were eating eggs in Sammy's When the black man there drew his knife Aw, you drowned that Jew in Rampton As he washed his sleeveless shirt You know, that Spanish-speaking gentleman The one we all called Kurt..... Come now, gentlemen I know there's some mistake

so I get an email from "Montecito Madness" author Robert Eringer inviting me to his Bo Henry's bar for a Jason Nelson Fundraiser..karaoke night... October 30, Halloween Eve...Jason is a SB city councilman wannabe..don't ask don't tell, but I think he's gay

don't ask, don't tell, Jason!

Eringer says he'd like to meet me and "tour me around his many artifacts" at Bo Henry's

hmmm...wasn't this dude a spy once...worked for Prince Albert of Monaco...I wonder if he ever fucked Grace Kelly then I'll go to his bar to see if I can get laid for once..and wasn't he a columnist for the News-Press?? geez and now a bar owner?? how much lower can you go R?? what next, a wine tasting room?? and how do I know you're not a Bircher?? and I think Grace Kelly was murdered by the Illuminati...amazing Grace

 

well, first of all.... I charge 100 bucks per public appearance so there's that....and really what I want to know is the genesis of the harassment lawsuit against that pony-tailed Indian dude, Chief Running Bull from Montecito...

second I think Jason Nelson is a twit so why would I go to a bar for his benefit...plus I don't drink alcohol 'cept for a little Merlot at night and never never when I drive unlike Eringer's pals...

 

so Bob..do you think about these things before you email me?? or maybe you're trying to lure me into a dark Westside alley the night before Halloween and have one of your Mexican pals knife me in the ribs!!

the only alley I'm interested in entering is Megan Diaz's Alley!! she's a city council candidate you know..why not a karaoke party for her???

but we'll see about Bo Henry's.....the idea I may be assassinated on Halloween Eve is rather intriguing....and just a few days before the clocks get set back