Jasper the mountain lion cub has died..he was murdered in Buellton by a hit and run driver, probably a drunken old white woman or casino customer....we (Wendy, #69 and me) are shocked, saddened, dismayed, traumatized and basically freaked out by this....Jasper was a proud member of the Cub Scouts and liked to roam the hills with his mama close by....the Fish and Game warden speculated that the cub was probably hit by the car while on the lookout for #69, who has been known to shoot lions with a paintball gun and snatch cubs from their mothers and try to raise them as her own children...formal charges are pending....Julia screamed: I've spent my life protecting these animals and was devastated by the charges....I am in pieces, bits and pieces!! I am innocent!!!
yeah right, Jules....
anyway, Jasper was born in San Francisco of Norwegian immigrant parents..some say he was inbred, like a Channel Island fox..his mother disputes that notion...but wild cats do that sometime..so do News-Press reporters!
Jasper's family moved, mostly at night, to the Santa Barbara area and settled in the hills of the Santa Ynez Valley.....they heard about a crazy lady who lived in an ark who rescued wild animals to death..the lady's name was #69 and she and other girls thought the wild animals were their children and lived in the forests having Tupperware parties and frolicking with gummy bears.....Jasper, even though a cub, knew that this wasn't the case and wished that they would just leave him and his family alone..he called them the Disney Girls...Jasper was one cool cat..
in lieu of flowers, please send big cash donations to the Animal Rescue Team so #69 can buy a new dress....
yeah right, Jules....
anyway, Jasper was born in San Francisco of Norwegian immigrant parents..some say he was inbred, like a Channel Island fox..his mother disputes that notion...but wild cats do that sometime..so do News-Press reporters!
Jasper's family moved, mostly at night, to the Santa Barbara area and settled in the hills of the Santa Ynez Valley.....they heard about a crazy lady who lived in an ark who rescued wild animals to death..the lady's name was #69 and she and other girls thought the wild animals were their children and lived in the forests having Tupperware parties and frolicking with gummy bears.....Jasper, even though a cub, knew that this wasn't the case and wished that they would just leave him and his family alone..he called them the Disney Girls...Jasper was one cool cat..
in lieu of flowers, please send big cash donations to the Animal Rescue Team so #69 can buy a new dress....
7 comments:
We brought a sick carp to #69 to see if she could help. She was so kind, #69, she agreed to nurse it back to health. 69 was so concerned and worried she even took the fish to bed with her that night!
We found poor "Crusty" dead the next morning, still attached to #69's nipple. The nursing failed.
I'm so sorry..so sorry for your loss!!
Thank-you Mick.
We had to bury Crusty, he smelled like #69!
Mick: I'm the one who hit little Jasper, but it wasn't a hit and run. I immediately pulled over my SUV with the fish and the flag on the back and administered cpr. i blew through the little fella's nose for a good 20 minutes. i even dangled a little essence of #69 as a kind of kitty smelling salts. he stirred a little when i did that, but it was no use. he was gone, mick. so i crawed inside a bottle after that, and i've been there ever since.
well..I am forwarding your comment to #69, the Fish and Game warden, and the Dist Atty...blowing on a near dead kitty's nose is just sick!
hi, i just was wondering where you got this article from? the original newspaper? i'm doing a report and i'd really like to get the original story. thanks! my email is rkaiser@usc.edu
duh! where else..the news-press!
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