12 angry men

pick me! pick me!

I wanna be on the jury! if I get a summons for the Lance DUI trial, I will cherish it, I will hold it, I will frame it...I won't do what I normally do and try to get out of being a juror using my stock list of rather brilliant excuses..no sir...this time it's baby I'ma want choo...

and thanks lawman for the clarifications...

you know, the strangest thing about the Lance hearing so far is when Kasi Beutel was ready to testify last week, it was Genis who, after clamoring for weeks to get her on the stand, suddenly says he doesn't want to hear from her!! the judge insisted but Daryll said no... I wonder why

now, my experience with jury duty has been good and bad....I don't like the cattle call, I enjoy the interesting trials, the getting out of work..I'm set up for life due to sound fiscal management, and I don't need to work anymore so it's not an issue...but for some of you poor slobs, it is..and I feel for ya!!

then there's the sit down interview with fellow possible jurors whereby the judges and lawyers ask us questions to determine if we're fit to sit in the box...
that's when I'll let 'em have it! you wanna see street theater...you just watch when they get around to asking me questions...

let get hypothetical for a moment and pretend the judge is asking me questions:

Judge:

Mr. Von Caw, is there any reason why you shouldn't be a juror in this case?
Mick: why no your honor..I've never even seen Mr. Lance..never read a thing he ever wrote! I didn't read his fictional account of his arrest for DUI....
and I'm a big defender of freedom...the freedom to do whatever you want like our founders wanted..even drive drunk...or wasted or whatever you want to call it..

Judge: Mr. Von Caw, haven't you been blogging about Mr. Lance and his predicament and sitting in this very courtroom, writing down your rather silly observations
Mick: why yes your honor..but not because of Mr. Lance..the reason I'm here is to witness the fine and stunning women in your courtroom who come and go like visions of Joanna...
Judge..yeah I see what you mean...

Mick: but seriously your honor..let's stop bullshitting each other..I could save the court some time and money and cut to the chase...Lance is guilty and the officer who arrested him is innocent...that should should be obvious to anyone not trying to get a spot on Wendy's gravy train..that should be obvious to anyone who's not cheerleading outside the News-Press building dressed in a grass skirt and waving pom-poms...Lance has admitted he blew a 0.09 already..and his novella in the News-Press was a sad attempt to impress a select group of morons that he's an investigative reporter who won five Emmys 100 years ago...didn't Homer Simpson win an Emmy, too??

Judge..forget golf for a few days and make a ruling..slap a fine on Lance and send him to Zona Seca....

and then we can let the real trials begin....