Tuesday, October 18, 2011

smooth operators...

coast to coast, LA to Chicago...

I have set up a network of operatives I call "Smooth Operators"..they supply valuable information and are coordinated by the lovely Natasha...

first off, I missed the Beer Festival on Saturday at Elings Park...I swear to God, this must be the shortest festival in the world.....it lasts four hours from 12:00PM to 4:00PM and they even had a service where they drove you home if you got too wasted...too wasted to drive home after a four hour festival...geez

second..what is all this fuss over those retarded little inbred foxes on the Channel Islands? oh, I get it..the Parks Service.....have you ever seen pictures of those folks???

next thing I missed was a talk about Prohibition last Thursday by Erin Graffy at the Historical Museum..afterwards they had a wine and whiskey tasting event...that's a fucking brilliant marketing move~ whoever is running the museum, give that boy a raise!!

and another thing....Dale Francisco has no eyebrows..I was watching Dale and Mike on the Mr. Wimpy Show and Dale, who's supposed to be an expert on everything, couldn't explain why some military guys who work for the city can retire using their military service credits...Dale and Mr. Wimpy are trying t oblame the Wall Street bailouts on the military workers in the City of Santa Barbara....I think that's rather foolish

ok so then a Smooth Operator shows me the crime blotter of some guy named A... ..oh no.. how sad!!! what can be done about this drug menace????

so we got some kids, possibly News-Press kids running around under the influence of a controlled substance...we got Wendy's pal ex-News-Press editor Travis Armstrong busted for DUI and wrongway driving, we got News-Press pal Peter Lance busted for DUI, we got the News-Press Wine Club, we got Nipper's Champagne Club, we got Nipper's pal Lanny Ebenstein getting sued for operating a pot house up north and he settled with 17 neighbors, we got Wine Festivals, Beer Festivals, Tequila Festivals.....

we got a bunch of lushes and stoners in the private sector trying to fuck with the hard working public workers' rights.... 

and I got smooth operators!!

 

2 comments:

Rick Deckard said...

Dale yeah. No eyebrows and only slits for eyes. Strange mop on head. What is that. Space alien, bot, mole or gerbil. Definitely not 100% human.

Anonymous said...

Dont forget the effect on morals that, shall we say ultra flambouyant, watering hole Nippers is having on the community. I hear all the coke blowing that flourished there in the 80s has sorted iitself out to blows of a more personal nature.