Bottle of Wine

fruit of the vine, when you gonna let me get sober...

well, I guess I gotta cover all these Wine Festivals now...and Beer Festivals... and Tequila Festivals..hey I thought you guys in Santa Barbara just had a wine festival up at the Museum of Natural History where someone got drunk and cut hisself with a wine glass who got real bloodied up

spits..or swallows??

 

and now I see the California Wine Festival is happening from July 18 to July 20...let's see about this one, ok? if I go....ooops I'll have to miss Thursday but if I had gone I would've been at the Casa De La Guerra Courtyard...the event lasts from 6:30PM to 9:00PM...Casa De La Guerra...isn't that one of Wendy's properties? no but she owns a little building on the corner plus the News-Press and she thinks she owns City Hall but boy is she wrong about that..she owns Frank and Dale maybe..

 

but anyway WINE!!! so this festival starts at the Casa de la Guerra historic building..how nice to have a bunch of winos hanging out here watching dancers, listening to music and eating cheeze...for 2.5 hours?? what kind of a festival is this? oh I guess if people get too many glasses of wine in them it could be a problem on the streets so they limit the fun to 2.5 hours...plus it's pretty close to the Police Station...

ok so Day 2 of the Wine Fest from 5 to 6 PM should find me at Fess Parker's attending a Cabernet Clinic...a what??? a Cabernet Clinic where I can taste some Cabs and meet the folks who made them..how exciting!!

then from 6:30 to 9 PM, I can stumble on over to the Carousel at Chase Palm Park for Champagne Reception...a what? A Champagne Reception! oh...uh...I drink champagne and ride around on the carousel... and fall off , and blame the cops and sue the city??? COOOOOL!!!

then on July 20th..wow I've been partying a little..a few hours here, a few hours there...but today I will go to the beach at Chase Palm Park from 1-4PM and indulge in 250+ wine and craft beers...Gourmet bites and Live Music!! that's two days of non-stop drinking because I buy about 30 bottles of wine and champagne..am I supposed to drink them all at once to get into the festival vibe?? do I have enough beer?? so sorry, I meant to say Craft Beer!

am I cool enough for this..or sophisticated enough? is my palate in the right place??

oh shit, leave me alone, let me go home, let me go home and start over!!