Saturday, March 23, 2013

Alison

my aim is true....

well the News-Press has a new correspondent, Alison, and apparently she's an obnoxious little foodie... she did a Food section column-how to make an Egg Salad sandwich-she takes you thru the process, step by step and ok I got no issues with this little egghard telling me how to make a sandwich but then at the end of the column she tells you how to make a hard boiled egg..

I used to be a fry cook so I know how to make a freakin hard boiled egg Alison!!!

...but your way you want me to put the eggs in a sauce pan, bring the water to a boil, then turn the heat off and let the eggs sit for 12 minutes....

but why would I do that unless I'm..well why 12 minutes"? why not 13 minutes or 10 minutes?

oh wait maybe she's confusing rice with eggs...that's how I cook rice...I bring the water up to a hard boil it then let it sit for 12 minutes..not a minute more!! "a hard boil" maybe that's where Alison gets confused with hard boiled eggs...well I hope she can take a yoke..


next, I'm reading the editorial pages and Alison's boss Nipper fancies himself a water expert and writes once a year in his rich girlfriend's paper, the News-Press telling everyone to honor World Water Day and make sure we conserve...Nipper used to work for Anheuser-Busch and once while out walking, he felt an attraction to a place and below the ground he found an aquifer and thus some fresh water for making Budweiser! that's 20 gallons of water to make a pint of beer..

then Nipper says that water is spiritual to him...he talks of water on Mars...he wonders why life begins in amniotic fluid which has the same properties as ocean water...well, um, inside the pregnant woman is a little baby that floats in liquid...The amniotic fluid constantly moves (circulates) as the baby swallows and "inhales" the fluid, and then releases it.


in reality all humans started out as fish or other sea creatures which is probably why Wendy is so cuckoo about whales!

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