bang a gong

get it on...

well I'm not supposed to use the word "retarded" anymore because it's ignorant and demeaning according to the folks at Alpha so I'll use "retawded" instead

well I got the news this morning that Tony Denunzio escaped an ankle bracelet by the skin of his teeth..the jury was hung up on a DUI verdict...a hung jury...8 to 4 in favor of guilt...so I surmise one guy on the jury must've been a drunk!

but actually, the outcome is not bad..not bad at all...8 to 4 in favor of a guilty verdict is not exactly exoneration...it's more of a warning to Tony that he's out on his own again so I don't have to support his trial with my tax money...he's out on his own so he better watch it...no more slip ups ..that's the message he should heed until he gets busted again for DUI and I guarantee it will happen because this dude is totally retawded...

and that's what the new News-Press commercial is..retawded...the guy informs that the News-Press will be around to comfort us..he sounds like a Catholic priest trying to seduce a youngster..and worse, they have a little kid dressed up like a newspaper boy, hawking the News-Press on the corner..retawded..

and then there's the Experience Carpinteria commercial on TV....it's true, the guy says in a very creepy, retawded voice, small towns do have more fun!! wupteedoo!!

there's a farmer's market here .. there's restaurants even...yeah it's true we got few eateries like the Spot and IHOP..otherwise I'd advise you to stay and mange in Santa Barbara because you cats are more cultured than us..

geez what a lame way to promote Carpinteria...that must've been work of the Chamber of Commerce..they didn't say a word about the Bluffs or the seals or Salt Marsh, just the businesses....well a commercial is not going to lure people into Carpinteria....

the thing that is gonna get people here is that little Chinese massage parlor tucked away by the lawn mower place..the Experience Carpinteria commercial failed to mention that...

but hey fellas! Come to Carpinteria and get a massage from a hot Chinese babe..bang a gong so to speak.....

that will bring the folks here, not all this other stuff...this other retawded stuff...