Chelsea Morning

Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning, and the first thing that I heard / Was a song outside my window, and the traffic wrote the words

now I have to admit that ever since Judge Rigali pulled a Wendy and slapped duct tape over the mouth- Darryl Genis- things have been a little quiet..the local news outlets are more interested in the latest wine tasting event and Teen Star than real news...

oh how I long for the days when Darryl would email me..when Darryl would advertise for free in the Independent comments section...when Darryl would describe his fantasies about the Deputy DA in the News-Press

so ok let's go with the flow...the front page of Sunday's News-Press had the picture of the Teen Star Winner..a cutie from Carp..but next to it was a story about the porn industry scouting for locations in Santa Barbara....perhaps this is Nipper's front page fantasy?? or Katich's?? introducing the Teen Stars to the porn industry...this is in very poor taste..very poor taste

and has the News-Press ever fully explained why they had thousands of child porn pictures on their computers..now there's a cover-up if there ever was one!

well let's see...I see that Wendy's pal Michael Douglas is hiding a gay secret according to the National Enquirer....it seems that Michael is consumed with guilt for letting his gay half-brother Eric die..according to the report, Eric was brutalized for years by father Kirk and shunned by Michael because they could not deal with his sexuality...

wow...Kirk and Michael Douglas are homophobes!! why don't they print this kinda shit in the News-Press??

"what a cute lil monkey" say Chel

next I see Tiger Woods bagged another white girl an athlete named Lindsay Vonn...geez Tiger leave some for the rest of us...had I been a golfer I coulda been Coyote Von Caw and had women lined up around the freaking 18th hole!! damn and congrats to Beatriz Recari who just won the KIA Open..she's from Spain and she's FINE!!!!

and Chelsea Clinton is adopting a black African baby! you know damn well that baby is Tiger's and Chelsea's..nice try guys!!!

obviously it's time for the local media to get with it...get jiggy with it...