into the mystic

magnificently we will fly....

part one

the Palm and Tom Ball or Kenny Sultan

well I went to attend the Chowder Fest on Sunday at the Montecito Country Club and as usual with these events I go a little early.. I like to wait and catch people as they go in..take some shots...but I don't see anyone famous so I go in and decide to pay $65, wear a red wrist band to walk around and take pictures with a bunch of old moneyed types and some yuppies...geez what a freakin bore this is...where's Wendy and Nipper and Cappello.. I got some questions for them folks!



pip! pip!

so I go in and out of the club rooms and then wait outside in the sun... making myself very conspicious looking..hey there's John Palminteri from KEYT and Tom Ball and Kenny Sultan....we had some laughs and the boys went inside...

so I'm sitting there outside on a bench and in goes that society dude Richard Mineards from the Montecito Journal..all alone.. I go in after him and sneak around and get a pic and he looks at me very sternly....like a scoutmaster looks at a boy scout..I'd better stay away from Mr Pip Pip for now! boy these guys take this high society stuff pretty seriously!!

ok so I'm watching all the gals..perfumey and pretty...this is non-working class pussy guys and if you get a chance, get some while you can as part of God's plan! you'll never be the same...

so I go inside again and get stopped by a lady who looks more Jewish than Barbra Streisand...geez, I thought she was gonna beat me with her shnoz!! she peppers me with a bunch of questions "who am I why am I taking pictures"....I told her I paid to get in and I'm just taking pictures for my private use..she asks if I have a blog and I say who me?? yeah I tell her...I got a foodie blog... she started getting a bit perturbed because I was being a wiseguy to her.....she says she's Ellen Goodstein from the nonprofit Legal Aid Foundation like I'm supposed to bow or something and this is her private event and wants to know why I'm taking pictures..well I asked the chick before who sold me the ticket if pictures were ok and she said yeah..so what's the problem..well Ellen had a problem with me..she was looking at me like I was bad debt! I told her I really came to get a picture of Cat Cora and she says "that's not gonna happen" .... I ask "why?" and she says Cat's very private person traveling with her own people so I can't get a picture!! then I ask Ellen if I can take a picture of her and she says very curtly "no".. I told her I had some German in me and that really burned her up!! these folks are soup Nazis!!


Landecker and mom?

WTF! gee, what a bunch of snobs I'm dealing with...then I see David Landecker with some old lady...Dave is famous for swapping price tags years ago at Home Improvement Center so he wouldn't have to pay full price for a pair of pliars..geez, some Jews think they are so entitled!!

well after a few hours, I was done with this nonsense and was getting kinda bored...so I left.. I would have stayed for some chowder, but there were too many eyes on me....too many disapproving eyes...